That's what you get for supporting a movement called "Know Nothing."

Published circa 1856 in Boston and composed by "A. Barrel Apples," the song "The wheelbarrow polka" (also known as "The cider polka") was dedicated to Major Ben. Perley Poore.

Poore, a popular journalist in the mid-1800's, made a bet with Col. Robert L. Burbank that former U.S. President Millard Fillmore (of the soon-extinct Whig Party) would win the Presidential election of 1856 (this time running with the American Party of the anti-immigrant, anti-Catholic Know Nothing Movement).  The loser had to wheel a barrel of apples from his own home to the winner's home (Poore lived in Newbury, Massachusetts; Burbank in Boston -- 36 miles apart).

Fillmore lost and thus did Poore (James Buchanan won) so he spent over two days on the road pushing an apple cart to Boston while cheered by an audience lining his lengthy route. 

A larger version of the image above can be viewed here.  If you're interested in the sheet music, it can be viewed here. 

Before "the science guy"...

Published in 1894 Philadelphia:  "Bill Nye's history of the United States."

Leave it to the U.S. government to boss around a piece of paper.

From a coworker (whose commentary I've paraphrased for the title of this post):  A report of the "Committee Appointed to Investigate the State of the Treasury" in 1802:  "Report of the Committee appointed to examine and report whether monies drawn from the Treasury have been faithfully applied to the objects for which they were appropriated, and whether the same have been regularly accounted for : and to report likewise whether any further arrangements are necessary to promote economy, enforce adherence to legislative restrictions, and secure the accountability of persons entrusted with public money : April 29, 1802 : read, and ordered to lie on the table."

I'm imagining that was the lenient version.  In 1801, a similar report perhaps demanded:  "Paper, you must lie on the table, square your corners with the table and allow no edge of yourself to align perfectly with any largely apparent grain of the wood.  Also, the table must be made of wood."

One more reason not to live in a haunted house...

Dust and lint art by Suzanne Proulx

Just a few of the roughly 175 American terms, new and old, for those balls of dust and lint you find under the furniture:  Dust bunnies, dust dollies, dust tigers, dust puppies, dust kitties, bunny tails, moots, woolies, woozies, beggar's velvet, house moss, reebolees, gollywogs, cussywops, woofinpoofs, “somebody either comin’ or goin,’" curds, fooskies, frog hair, slut's wool, and ghost manure.

I guess "chatterbox" meant "doesn't say much" in the Victorian days...

From 1883, "Baby chatterbox:  stories and poems for our little ones, profusely illustrated."

Maybe that bird-flippin' motorist is more virtuous than you thought...

The Library of Congress Classification system includes numbers for a long list of both Christian sins and virtues -- both of which are listed alphabetically.

In the latter, along with the virtues one might quickly guess, such as courage (BV4647.C75), kindness (BV4647.K5), patience (BV4647.P3) and sympathy (BV4647.S9), there are less common terms such as concord (BV4647.C6), filial piety (BV4647.F45) and magnanimity (BV4647.M2).

Amongst the sins, there are idolatry (BV4627.I34), jealousy (BV4627.J43) and lust (BV4627.L8) along with acedia (BV4627.S65), licentiousness (BV4627.L5) and partisanship (BV4627.P3).

Most interesting to me was the final listing in the virtues category:  wrath.  So, between the road-ragers and those that sit back and take it, the roads are full of the virtuous in the eyes of the Christian God and the Library of Congress... yet full of the sinful at the same time:

Virtues:  acquiescence (BV4647.A25) and wrath (BV4647.W7).
Sins:  anger/revenge (BV4627.A5/BV4627.R4) and ... well, "blessed are the meek (BV4647.M3), for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).

So I guess the lesson here is to let the road-ragers blow on ahead.  Your mom was right.  (And you're less likely to get shot.)

Hitch ye wagons, lass and lad, and your days will be ever joyous!

"The little man and the little maid" is an 1860's children's book of poetry and illustrations regarding courtship and marriage.  It just so happened to be in a series of children's books called the "Indestructible Pleasure Books."

Let's go the citrus and butter smorgasbord down in the meadow -- Emerson and Thoreau will be there!

Written by Samuel Gray Ward in 1886 and printed in 1960 by Lyman Butterfield:  "Come with me to the feast, or, Transcendentalism in action."