Leave it to the U.S. government to boss around a piece of paper.

From a coworker (whose commentary I've paraphrased for the title of this post):  A report of the "Committee Appointed to Investigate the State of the Treasury" in 1802:  "Report of the Committee appointed to examine and report whether monies drawn from the Treasury have been faithfully applied to the objects for which they were appropriated, and whether the same have been regularly accounted for : and to report likewise whether any further arrangements are necessary to promote economy, enforce adherence to legislative restrictions, and secure the accountability of persons entrusted with public money : April 29, 1802 : read, and ordered to lie on the table."

I'm imagining that was the lenient version.  In 1801, a similar report perhaps demanded:  "Paper, you must lie on the table, square your corners with the table and allow no edge of yourself to align perfectly with any largely apparent grain of the wood.  Also, the table must be made of wood."